Creating a Habit of Self Care
When a woman becomes a mother, it is a life-changing experience and one of the most prioritized jobs; however, it is not our only role. There is a phrase, “take care of your kids by taking care of yourself.” Postpartum is a period where proper self-care and healing are critical, and if you don’t take that time to do just that, you are setting yourself and everyone around you up to put your needs last. Studies have shown it takes as little as 18 days to form a new habit. Creating a habit of making time for just mom has benefits that will radiate into other parts of your life. You become more calm, happy, and form a stronger connection with yourself to generate confidence individually and in your family life. When mom is satisfied, the kids benefit more.
There is a transition between pregnancy and birth where all the attention (including your own) shifts from mom and baby to just baby. Nobody prepares new moms for the decrease of check-ins, favours, and breaks that were continually being offered to them by family, friends, and doctors before birth. Then, when you are, It’s easy to pass off a nap or shower for extra cuddles with your new baby. As a single mom who has experienced these effects first hand, remembering to take care of yourself is essential for taking care of anybody else.
When guilt creeps in, remember that nobody can survive on an empty battery. Although you were just blessed with an innocent, small baby, the responsibilities of taking care of the baby aren’t so small and innocent. When you feel you need a break, adjust the schedule around yourself so that mom can get an hour to recharge during nap time. Children pick up on their parents’ negative energies despite how much we try to suppress them. Studies have also shown that children are highly influenced by emotional residue and will unconsciously take on the parent’s behaviour. This can cause emotional confusion for a child because two different behaviours are being reciprocated. That being said, don’t feel weak for needing some time for a mental or physical refresher because when you help yourself, you’re more ready and available to help your kids.
As your children get older, you’ll be thankful you started implementing time for yourself. Establishing a quiet time or self-care night now will create a boundary between you and your kids, teaching them that mom deserves a break too. Additionally, observant children will grow to respect and be influenced by your self-care regime, teaching them to put the mental, physical and spiritual health of themselves and others first. They will grow to learn more about themselves, their limits, and to thrive in the challenging world we live in.
Suppose you’re struggling to find ways to spend the time you allotted for yourself because either you have lost connection with things that brought you joy previously, or you thrive off trying new things. In that case, self-care can be as easy as putting your feet up and watching your favourite show, painting your toes, or trying out a new spin class — which has multiple benefits. When you begin to take care of yourself, you show up as your best self.
So go on and take advantage of when grandma offers to babysit the kids again; your children will come home to open arms and good vibrations because you have taken the time to mend yourself, allowing your full focus to be on your kiddies!
If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve linked some beginners self-care activities below: